Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Guilt Is Not As Strong as Grace
There are always more than one issue in a counseling situation, but the time when a man came in and finally got around to saying sadly, “I used to lose those young replacements faster than I could learn their names,” I didn’t have to make a case note to remember that. The best termination process I can remember began the day he sat down – big smile - and started, “There’s a kid up the street I know. Yesterday I invited him into the house, got out all my metals and memorabilia and told him about them.” How? A miracle? Well…
I liked him; he certainly did not have the same attitude towards himself, but he did for me, I believe. I respected him, he couldn’t do that for himself, either. The counseling theory is called, “unconditional acceptance.” Maybe. It certainly is different from “enabling” as the AA people say, you can count on that. One time, while we were seeing each other, he was at a convention. A general he knew referred to him as “a gallant officer.” We sometimes ask, “What’s in a word?” Well, it can be healing. There is a spiritual reality larger than situations.
When you have the event - traumatic, and then the experiences – stress and more so, and then pile on with “disorder,” that is a lot of heavy. Among other things it often focuses on the rupturing of trust. In theology it is addressed under “salvation by grace,” I think it often occurs when there are gracious people to mediate that. I think the Apostle would agree to that. Would you be willing to give even as there is somebody who wants very much for you to receive?